Officially Replaces "The Wash" As Worst "Movie" In History...

I don't even know where to start. "N-Secure" is so awful that you find yourself getting angry with everybody and everything that had anything to do with this "hot, period-panty mess" (c. nOvaslim). Have you ever felt yourself getting pissed off that the film you're watching was ever made in the first place? I know I haven't before this; the closest I've gotten was all of those Roc/Damon Dash movies starring Beanie Sigel and Memphis Bleek that I can't even remember the names of now. N-Secure makes those films look like Steven Soderbergh flicks, straight up.

I can't even give this "movie" a review, cause there is no real plot or point. I implore you never to come near this one...kinda look upon it like venturing near Dracula's coffin at sunset. But if you don't heed my very sage advice, know that I am about to give away some "spoilers" (though I really don't think it will make a bit of difference in your experience watching it). Here is my impression of the "movie" in bullet-points, cause this sh*t left me too spent to write full-on thoughtful paragraphs:

* First of all, how do you cast someone in the lead that looks exactly like Professor Oglevee from "The Parkers"? He even had his same...ummm...."zest" ifyaknowwhatimean. That distracted me for most of the "movie". Why not get the real thing? I'm sure he would have worked for the same salary as dude whose name I do not know and have no desire to look up.

* This "movie" is about a man who is so obsessed in his love relationships that he will practically beat down a woman if she is 4 minutes late (yes, literally), uses a CSI type blacklight to check for any stains on the sheets, put a GPS tracking system on his girl's car, goes ballistic over a curling iron burn cause he thinks it's a hickey, and makes his woman sign a contract that she will not have any girlfriends and return his calls within 1 minute. Yet no woman wants to leave him because of his high life in material things. WTF is this "movie" trying to say?

* I don't really know anything about "Nephew Tommy", but I do know he's in the running to be this century's Mantan Moreland. Can we have one more cue for bugged-out eye reaction, pretty please?

* Can somebody please explain to me why Thelma from "Good Times" has a three minute throwaway cameo in this "movie"? Is she related to one of the volunteer P.A.'s or something?

* Imma need Essence Atkins to show us that she has more range beyond what she has shown us on "Half And Half". I love her, but dang!

* I believe that this is the first time since "The Cosby Show" that I've seen Tempestt Bledsoe's hair looking decent, though 90% isn't really hers ifyaknaowwhatimean. Sadly, her acting hasn't improved even a microdot.

* Ditto for Elise Neal.

* Where the heck did they get the music from in this "movie"? It makes a Lifetime movie soundtrack sound like high-concept art. I mean strictly "As The World Turns" circa 1968.

* Why is Lamann Rucker (the only male eye-candy) given top billing, only to be bumped off in the first 15 minutes?

To sum up everything, this "movie" is about an unreasonable man who goes through extraordinary and quite unrealistic lengths to keep a leash on his woman. That's it. No reason is ever given for this, except that he had a controlling father...I would like to think it takes a little more than that to turn someone into a psychopath, but who am I to know? Obviously the writers of this "movie" know more than we do. A lot more, apparently, as nothing in this script or anything else makes any sense...including why this "movie" was made in the first place and why anybody even bothered to show the f*ck up.

Invisible Cinema rating: Z-

WTF??!!! Volume 15

Please. please, PLEASE let this be some BS! From Dlisted:

Why did I have to read about Morgan Freeman allegedly Wood-Allen-ing his step-granddaughter?! If I dip my head in a pot of boiling bleach will it burn away that image along with 99% of the skin on my face? I might be willing to try it.

I hope the National Enquirer was just telling jokes when they wrote about 72-year-old Morgan Freeman's 10-year-long affair with his 27-year-old step-granddaughter E'Dena Hines. Please let them issue a statement that they thought April Fool's Day got moved to mid-June for some reason.

A source tells the Enquirer that E'Dena is the granddaughter of Morgan's first wife Jeanette. Morgan and his second wife Myrna raised E'Dena ever since she was a little girl. The affair reportedly started when E'Dena was a teenager. The source went on to say, "Myrna said E'dena told her that when she was a teenager, she and Morgan went to dinner at a friend's house one evening. Both had been drinking, and when they returned home, Morgan attempted to have sex with her. They stopped just short of having intercourse. E'Dena explained to Myrna that she stopped Morgan from going any further."

Myrna told Morgan to step off E'Dena and he promised he would. Without Myrna knowing, Morgan's relationship with E'Dena continued for years.

The source wants all to know that it's technically not incest since they aren't blood relatives,
"but Morgan is trying desperately to keep his divorce out of open court so all the shameful facts won't become public."

I know most of you stopped at "National Enquirer," but they sound serious about this one. Maybe we should all just pretend this is a work of creepy fan fiction and then slowly back away until we get further evidence? Okay, I won't dip my head in bleach just yet, but in the meantime.....

MustthinkofkittensMustthinkofkittensMustthinkofkittensMustthinkofkittens

From IW: Oh hayell to the naw!!!

When It All Falls Down....

I think I ruffled a few feathers not too long ago when I stated that "age was the enemy" on the post I did on Jimmy "J.J" Walker and Boy George, alluding to their rapid deterioration and alarming visages. Some said "It's not age, it's lifestyle!" True, that is a factor, but you can be the exercisinest veganist vegan, and it all hits the end of the road somewhere. I started thinking of this subject for several reasons...the first one being this:


That these two that practically anyone, at any time, at any place, would have smashed in the 90's end up looking like Michael Jackson's unholy apprentices. I just don't get it. NOTE TO HOLLYWOOD: Make a beeline to whomever works on Halle Barry and Jennifer Lopez and call it a day! Those two should be the only working plastic surgeons in the world. Period.



Yes, age is devastating, as was witnessed on the "American Idol" disco medley the other day. Much has been made of how "ancient" the guests were, but if any of the readers of this blog look like Freda Payne (67 in Sept), or Thelma Houston (63 in a yellow dress showing a massive amount of leg) at their ages, please let me know. As for KC of KC and the Sunshine Band....well, let's just say he is dealing with a numerous amount of the white man's burdens.





Another example of the perils of aging is the disappointing film I watched the other day, "Original Gangstas". I was very happy to live with the memory of the fine-ass (and I do mean ass) Fred Williamson, aka 'The Hammer' from the 70's, and this film was an unwelcome jolt of reality. It is a vengeance movie that brings together Williamson, Jim Brown (wearing this life's most unfortunate kufi to cover an even more unfortunate bald spot), Ron O'Neal (Superfly, looking like the cashier/weed dealer at your nearest bodega), Richard Roundtree (Shaft), and Pam Grier (Foxy Brown, with hair looking like it hasn't seen the working end of a flat iron for several decades). You would think bringing together the most iconic icons of 70's Blaxploitation would be the sh*t, but sadly, I was left wishing everyone would have just rested on their laurels, and all I wanted to do was hand out Restalyne and Ab Rollers to everyone involved :-(




But there are other things that can cause it to all fall down, most prolific being stupidity. Rapper/actor Xzibit is about to lose his house to foreclosure, after 100 years of "Pimp My Ride" and it's reruns. Terrence Howard is still whining about losing his part in "Ironman". Ummm....T? Everyone involved with this film has been a professional for years. You mumble, sleepwalk, and use your "quivering voice" at dramatic pauses, then proceed to jack your price up sky high? That is exactly why you are in some fucked up movie called "Fighting" with the other weirdest Black man in Hollywood, Roger Guenveur Smith, who is probably your doppelganger, and playing second fiddle to Channing Tatum, whoever that is. Maybe you can pick up where Wesley Snipes left off.

A loooong way from wearing Ironman's suit of armor, yes?



Stupidity coupled with being low budget is definitely the way to make it fall down. Idris Elba now refuses to do press junkets and attend the premieres of his masterpiece "Obsessed". Negro, you were on "The Wire". Did you even read the script for this POS? I'm assuming not, as it surely would have ended up in "the circular file" as my grandfather used to say--aka the wastebasket. Don't act all brand new now. What did you possibly hope to accomplish starring opposite Beyonce and Ali Larter, in a film that was produced by the dude that did "3 Can Play That Game?" Falling down, dude. Hard.



But nobody has fallen as hard in my recent memory as this next one. I watched a bootleg (yes, I'm going to Heck) of "Single Black Female", which is without exception the very worst film ever made, ever. It looked like it was filmed on a 1999 Nokia phone, yet I was could not stop watching it. I was completely transfixed by it's unbelievable horribleness--I think I was hypnotized. Beyonce can make a thousand "Obsesseds" and it wouldn't even come close to the stench of this flick. It "stars" Farrah Something Or Other, who used to be in Destiny's Child, and obviously that will forever be the zenith in her life till the grave. Yes, age is no joke, but combine being stupid, low budget, AND talentless and there is nowhere to go but down. Behold:




So I stand corrected, age is not the only enemy, but it is still definitely in the top five!

Not So Blind Item....

Hard-Nipple Nick is the hottest star, both bod-wise and at the box office. His wife’s figure and professional goings-on aren’t too shabby, either, as both Mr. and Mrs. Nick enjoy fame and fortune regularly up on the big screen—though his paychecks dwarf hers, big-time.

Yep, everything’s pretty cozy Chez Nick, even the bisexual couple’s agreement to have lovers outside the marriage. Instead of his-and-hers towels, they have his-and-hers sex partners!

And you guessed it, there’s a girl for Mrs. Nick and…

A boy for Mr. Nick! And like the smart have-it-all couple they are, the Nicks chose other famous people to be their closeted lovers. Too crafty! Only problem being Hard-Nipple’s boyfriend is married to an established actress who’s growing increasingly peeved over the clandestine arrangement.

“He’s starting to go out and fly him with him everywhere,” a good friend to the Nicks told yours truly about Hard-Nipple taking the BF a few too many places as of late. “They’re turning up everywhere together, and [the boyfriend's wife] is getting really pissed about it. It’s going too far. It’s only a matter of time before she spills.”

Guess all those pricey little gifties to the wife for borrowing her hubby aren’t as attractive as they once were?

Must say I’m a tad surprised to hear this latest development, as H.-N’.s always been one of the best in the Biz about keeping his preferred love life on the down-low. And now that it’s flyin’ high, guess a tabloid revelation is only seconds away from takeoff!

And It Ain’t: John Travolta, David Beckham, Jerry O’Connell**


From IW: Holee sh*t! And folks are saying that the other one is Tom Cruise...

**source: ted casablanca

Disturbing Picture(s) Of The Week....

And I do mean disturbing in every single sense of the word.**

**i do know this is unrelated to black cinema, but these mugshots sent my soul to heaven, and i had to resurrect and share...thank you fresh

Damn!

You know things are really bad when you diss and disown the very movie you directed. From Yahoo:

'Babylon' Director Badmouths Film

Is there a French translation for the phrase, "Don't bite the hand that feeds you?"

Director Mathieu Kassovitz -- best known in this country for his acting turns in movies like Amelie and Munich -- is an award-winning filmmaker in his native France. He spent the last five years working on his dream project, an adaptation of the French sci-fi novel "Babylon Babies," got a Hollywood studio to co-finance it, and scored a big American movie star to headline it. So now that the movie is coming out, why is he so angry?

In an uncommonly open interview with SciFi Scanner, Kassovitz said, "I'm very unhappy with the film...I never had a chance to do one scene the way it was written or the way I wanted it to be. The script wasn't respected. Bad producers, bad partners, it was a terrible experience."

The movie tells the story of Toorop (Vin Diesel), a mercenary charged with protecting a genetically altered young woman from Eastern Europe to New York. Kassovitz said he was interested in what the original book stated about the changing nature of global politics and redrawing of national borders. But he now feels the movie doesn't communicate any of those themes.

"It's pure violence and stupidity," he admits. "The movie is supposed to teach us that the education of our children will mean the future of our planet. All the action scenes had a goal: They were supposed to be driven by either a metaphysical point of view or experience for the characters... instead parts of the movie are like a bad episode of 24." >> Read the full interview.

From IW: Vin Diesel and a well made message movie go together like sugar and sh*t....thought he knew? You don't buy Rob Schneider and expect Pacino, I'm just sayin'.

Holee Sh*t!

Not Issac Hayes too! He passed today...damn, is it true about what they say that these things come in 3's? This one has me twisted.

My father used to play an album called "Hot Buttered Soul" when I was a kid, and Isaac had a deep voice that dripped all the things I didn't know about. There was some album cover where he was dressed in a jumpsuit made of chains, bald head shining. I also know he liked to call himself "Black Moses" and would appear in some type of Arabic/biblical head covering. I didn't know what to make of him then (at all), but I know now that he was a mack daddy to the fullest.

R.I.P. Black Moses.

Here is Issac laying his mack hand down with a 6-pack of beer and some KFC. I may be wrong, but I don't think that would really work on any chicks that look like Annazette Chase, but "Truck Turner" is a movie after all:



Update: R&B diva Aretha Franklin said:

"[Hayes was] so musically advanced and timeless in his compositions. He was loved and appreciated by so many. He was an enduring symbol of the struggle of the African-American man and was a shining example of soul at its best."* *

From IW: Agreed.


**spotted on daddybstrong

What tha?

These two ummm "films" have me perplexed with my lips extremely pursed. All I can say is: 'Who?' 'What?' and most definitely 'Why?' Also 'Huh?' and "The F**k?"

To wit, first up is Tichina Arnold (Pam in "Martin", aka 'BDB') in a dramatic role that seems to be a race reversal of "Black Snake Moan-The Sketch Drafts". That's the most I can say.




The second one is beyond description. When I saw it on the blog "Long Live The Message" I must have stared at the computer screen for a full minute after it was over.



The "star" of this "movie" is Ryan Leslie, the supposed manager of "singer" Cassie, who is also maybe probably Diddy's fiance. Since Ryan has the head- throbbing vanity to make this butter-fried mess, I am quite sure he is vain enough to Google himself on the daily. So Ryan, listen up-you are made to act like Cassie is meant to sing. Nuff said.

WTF? Volume 13

P. Diddy, Puff Daddy, what the f**k ever, as Miles Davis? I don't care what he calls himself, I just call him Ballsy!

Really, Jada?

I promise to have some real movie news later today...but at the moment I am enjoying LA sunshine and Sapporo. In the meantime, here is a clip I've been meaning to post ever since I saw it on Undercover Black Man's blog. It is of Jada Pinkett and her "band" Wicked Wisdom on David Letterman. Just....damn.

She scares me now even more than before. All 4'11 of her.

ok, not really; i'd kick her ass, but she's still scary!

They Better Not Ask Him To Act Like Noxema...

Wesley Snipes gets 3 years in the pokey. Damn!

Random Movie News....

I finished watching "Street Kings" last night. It was aiiight, but a movie with Forest Whitaker, Cedric The Entertainer as a drug dealer, Terry Crews, the Game, and Common as a cop gone very, very bad should have been a bit more attention grabbing. It was serviceable, though; it very much reminded me of a Clint Eastwood cop movie from the 70's. Just replace Keanu Reeves with Clint and you wouldn't know the difference. Come to think of it, that would have made the movie more interesting.

Is this going to be the new trend for Black filmmakers? Since those in our community with pockets deep enough to build an independent film studio/distribution company seem unwilling to do so, it seems the thing to do is go dry-begging overseas. First Spike had to go to Italy, now Danny Glover with this, a project very worthy of American funding:

Venezuelan politicians are donating nearly $30 million to back an independent movie directed by actor Danny Glover, a supporter of the country's President Hugo Chavez. "Toussaint," a film about Haitian rebel leader Toussaint Louverture, will be produced by Glover's Louvertoure Films with support from the Cinema Villa, Venezuela's state film studio. (btn)

It is a shame our great talents have to resort to this, but I am glad they get the money they need to make coon-free films.


I was just saying the other day that someone should make a film about the Negro Baseball League. And guess what? I'm sure someone has, but wasn't able to get the funding. Of course it is up to someone non-black to pick up the slack. From Variety:

ESPN Films has agreed to co-produce the film planned for theatrical release about legendary baseball player Jackie Robinson and Brooklyn Dodgers general manager Branch Rickey and their struggle to break baseball's color barrier in the late 1940s. The untitled project will be produced by Robert Redford and Tracy Falco, Howard and Karen Baldwin (Baldwin Entertainment Group), and Andrew Cohen. The project is being developed by Robert Redford's Wildwood Enterprises and Baldwin/Cohen Productions, with Redford starring in the role of Rickey.

This probably means another Black story will be told from a non-black perspective once again. But at least it's Robert Redford; I always respect that he makes movies for grown-ups.



And finally, there have been a number of pictures floating on the internets this week, and all I have to say is "What Is Really Going On?" as a caption for every one of them.....

what is really going on with Eddie Murphy's birthday cake? Is it even edible?



*sigh* what is really going on?



what is really going on idris? are you out to suck the hot you garnered on 'the wire' down to zero? mission accomplished!



Al, Al , Al....what is really going on with the 70's Robert Evans fake tan and blowdried hair? I never would have expected this from you, of all people....



snoop, what is really going on with this outfit and jheri curl look? I knows you get high, but damn.



100% pure fuckery.

Oh Bobby....

Not related to Black Cinema, but I had to share....

Terrence Watch! Part #14

Terrence tells Giant mag: “It’s so hard to find a good woman who’s gonna help build the family and not be so interested in just building herself. I could be like any other male wannabe celebrity out there and hang out and date a bunch of people. Of course, there’s a beautiful opportunity to be out there and free. Why not eat up all the fruit on the trees? But the end result is that those things bring a dishonor to the family, and I will have served nobody but myself. I’ve sacrificed what I want to do for the sake of my family, and that’s what I need.”

“Sometimes men are drawn to each other and don’t know how to deal with that. So they think, ‘I must be gay!’ But we hide from the quality that is most prolific in human beings, to express love. God is love. And we remain in his image. Only one other angel is made in his image, and he became Jesus on this earth, his only begotten son. So why is it that we run from love? Why can’t men look at each other in the eye with honesty?”

From IW: Ummmm.....wow. Even I can't touch that one. But there's enough zest there for five oranges ifyaknowwhatimean.


spotted on my homies's blog that's not hott!

Do I Need To Start An Eddie Watch?

Sorry, I'm in one of those gossipy moods today....

What kind of cryptic sh*t is this? From Bossip:

Tracey Edmonds had a little bit to say on Johnny Gill’s claims that her guests were being inappropriate at the “wedding”:

“I was very shocked and disappointed to hear of Johnny Gill’s false spin on the chain of events surrounding our wedding. His outrageous lies were clearly a very desperate and pathetic attempt to clean up his reputation at my expense. I would appreciate it if Mr. Gill would refrain from continuing to spread false gossip and lies to the public, and allow everyone involved to move on with their lives. We all know the real truth.”

From IW: Dayum! I have absolutely no problem with Eddie being seen as suspect--I know a few thangs...but Johnny? I just always thought that it was part of that "everybody that's famous is gay" rumor ish. That ensemble in the picture really isn't helping his case.

But all of Eddie's women, Tracey, Scary, and Nicole have made allusions to his "lifestyle" and how hard it was to deal with, without being direct.

Hmmmm.....

Alrighty Then.....

Okee dokee. Forget why the Wayans brothers are hanging out with New York. Forget why New York still has uncomfortable looking 60 pound boobage. Forget why on God's green earth that nerdball known as Tailor Made is attracted to them, or anything else attached to NY. Forget why Marlon looks like he is jonesin' for his next "fix" like Diana Ross in "Lady Sings The Blues". Forget why I am having a Chambord martini at 4am in the morning.

What I wanna know is: what is up with the Wayans' hairlines?

picture spotted on babes, bling, and booze

Update: Speaking of hair, there is enough here to feed a small African nation.....they might want to share some with the Wayans.

picture ganked from dlisted

Top 10 Worst Black Films Of 2007

Alrighty then. Hope you guys had an awesome day yesterday, no matter what you chose to do. I was going to do one of those standard end of the year "Top 10 Best Films of 2007" lists for black film, but guess what? Surprise, surprise, I couldn't think of ten. The really sad part is I couldn't even think of five. Damn.

The big ticket black films of the year, "Why Did I Get Married?" and "American Gangster" were amusing to watch, but nothing more. The fact that they are considering Denzel's performance for a Golden Globe and other such awards just underscores how bare our cupboards are to me.

Here is to hoping 2008 will be a banner year for Black Cinema.....

Anyhoo, I did however have enough fodder for a "Top 10 Worst Black Films of 2007". Surprise, surprise, again (not). These are in no particular order, as I think they were all pretty much equally atrocious. Some of them kinda walk the line for "Black Cinema", but I included them because of their casts, their hype, and high visibility in the Black Blogosphere:

#1

I Think I Love My Wife

When, when, when is Chris Rock finally going to get it that he does not need to ever be in a film of his own making? Just produce (and for heaven's sake no more directing!), or star in a movie that someone, anyone else, wrote. This was a remake of a non-black film that I've seen called "Chloe In The Afternoon", and it was so mangled in it's interpretation that I didn't even know it until I read that fact yesterday.....so he can't even translate someone else's material. Here is a short clip of him talking about how he came to make this film...LMBAO acting like there was some kind of artistic thought/process behind this bulls--t:

#2

Code Name: The Cleaner

The whole time I was watching this (and for the life of me I don't know why I watched it till the end) I kept saying to myself "Why would Cedric make this movie?". It'll be a happy day when Cedric The Entertainer finds a film or a T.V. show that matches his hilarious abilities in his stand-up. As of now--not even close. This is a clip of the one kinda (operative word kinda) funny scene in the movie. If this is the best it had to offer, you can just imagine how dismal the rest was if you haven't seen it:

#3

The Salon

One of the most stock, stereotypical, lazy black films in quite some time, and that's saying a lot. I wrote about it here. They could've had robots make this movie and no one would have noticed the difference. Some foolio named Mike Brooks had a short clip on "youtube" and it looks like he has a very, very small part as "Street Vendor" in the film, and used this scene for his acting reel/resume. It is a perfect snapshot of everything that is wrong in this movie:

#4

Daddy Day Camp

Cuba Gooding. A script even Eddie Murphy wouldn't touch. An already worn to death premise. 'Nuff said. Here is some New York guido with a clip called "What's Going On Cuba?" The ish is low budget and unscripted, but dude is funny as hayell and completely on point:

#5

Confessions Of A Call Girl

Tho this one had an extremely limited release (with good reason) and zero hype, I included it anyway cause Tamala Jones was in it, as was Lynn Whitfield, who must have absolutely nothing else going on whatsoever. This movie was supposed to be a drama, but was so freakin' laughable that I think they need to rethink the genre and make it comedy. I wrote about all the painful details here. I tried to find a clip of this movie, but all that kept coming up was this tired picture, but in a way it's apropos, so here you go....for those of you who don't know, this is Karinne "Superhead" Stefans, infamous groupie, hoe, and bubblehead:

#6

Who's Your Caddy?

What can I say about this movie that hasn't already been said? It came from the "Our Stories" production company that is supposed to be our savior, and make "wholesome, family oriented films that are a reflection of us and our community" (their words). If this movie is a reflection of us, we might as well pack it in right now. The fact that this film, after all of it's extensive hype, only made $2.9 million in it's opening weekend spoke volumes. Here is a clip of some of the actors and Tracey Edmonds talking about some of the scenes like this crapfest was "Goodfellas" or something---SMH. At the end, Tracey says "This summer, there is nothing like our film coming out". Truer words were never spoken.

#7

Perfect Stranger

Halle Berry continues to make horrible film after horrible film, but is still considered A-List. In fact, has she ever, ever, starred in a great film? In a good one? Even a decent one? I'm talking a theatrical release, not television. The state of mainstream acting seems to be that your acting abilities equate to how the public views your face. The more beautiful the perception is, the better actress you are. Makes perfect sense to me (insert sarcasm). Nicole Kidman and Keira Knightly, anyone? Here is a clever mash-up of Halle's movie and the sitcom "Perfect Strangers" with Balki:

#9

Are We Done Yet?

Admittedly, I haven't seen this film, but the Good Lord knows I don't have to to include it on this list. Here is a so-called "Blooper Reel", which is ironic, as this is what this whole film seems to be. It also shows off Nia Long's super-amazing acting abilities:

#9

Smokin' Aces

Not technically "Black Cinema", but a large portion of the main cast was. After the huge hype of Alicia Keys, Common, and Taraji P. Henson being in it, it was a HUGE letdown, from the beginning to the closing credits. I kept waiting for it to get better, and it never did. I didn't even feel like looking for something interesting associated with this movie, so here is the trailer:

#10

First Sunday

I know it hasn't come out yet, but let's just get it over with to make more room for next year's list, kay? Since I posted the trailer the other day, here it is with some super dramatic music some funny genius uploaded on youtube. It changes the tone and context entirely....kinda goes back with what I say sometimes about how important a soundtrack can be to a film:

Btw, "Rush Hour 3" might've taken spots 1 through 6 if it was considered Black Cinema and not a mainstream summer blockbuster. Congrats to Ice Cube, who made this list twice.

TERRENCE WATCH!-part six

This explains so very, very, much. From RWS:

Terrence Howard's penis had a small part in 50 Cent's Get Rich or Die Trying. You can click the pic to make the photo bigger, but curiously his part stays small.

From IW: Following is a sampling of the comments...too funny!

Naw man... Not Terrence-got to be something in the water ...
11:55 AM
Anonymous said...
It's smaller than the lint on my laptop screen! Dang!
12:07 PM
Anonymous said...
It's like a dot.
12:36 PM
I ain't mad at him said...
So that's why he only date white women. They used to men with little peen's. Good for you Terrence.
12:37 PM
Anonymous said...
Yikes!
1:32 PM
Anonymous said...
Man he is giving Little Danny Bonaduce a run for his money. Why would he get in a video and expose that? Some things are better kept secret. Now everytime we see him looking all good and tough in a movie it spoils the plot... Yuck hated it!!!
1:44 PM
BronxStateOfMind said...
Maybe he should have had a stand in penis since the word around town is he's packing a vienna sausage.
1:52 PM
Anonymous said...
i am so very disappointed. NEXXXT!
2:06 PM
bee-mice elf said...
You know he was using some zesty fresh soap.
2:29 PM
Anonymous said...
Now Bronx, don't you be scared of a little ol' peepee.It won't hurt you. Especially not one THAT small LOL!!!!
2:39 PM
Anonymous said...
IT LOOKS LIKE A VAGINA WITH A BIRTHMARK WTF!
3:56 PM
Anonymous said...
Okay!! forget how small it is... well maybe not!!! But what the hell is all that bushhhhhhh YUK!!!! He needs to get a clipper & pass a # 2 on that!!! For real!!!!
4:50 PM
BronxStateOfMind said...
Ok, ok I got one..........WOW thats a big clitoris!!!!!!!
5:14 PM
Anonymous said...
the water must have been really cold! its shrunk like a frightened turtle
5:27 PM
halile said...
Of course its small thats why he carries a man purse

5:31 PM
Anonymous said...
Maybe he's a grower, not a show'r. (that's a big MAYBE!)
5:33 PM
Mo'Ree said...
i can't see it :( not seirously i can't see nothing...is something wrong with my puter??? I mean i see him...but it looks like a hair monster ate his pee pee:(
6:13 PM
Anonymous said...
NO WONDER HIS ASS STAY MAD ABOUT SHIT!
7:00 PM
Opinionated Diva said...
It looks inverted!
7:19 PM
BETTYEJ said...
Guys, I am from Texas and can truly say that I have never seen nothing that small, so tell me, will it get bigger in time?
7:24 PM
Anonymous said...
That's what you call a "Starter Model."Helps get you up to speed for the big stuff later on.
7:41 PM
Wry Beauty said...
Aw...it's so tiny and sad. He wouldn't even be worth buying baby wipes for.
7:42 PM
bee-mice-elf said...
If he were to shave, might that make it look bigger?

Oh Dennis....

The bad wigs, the thrift store dress, the non-matching purse, the old lady nail polish....

When is Dennis Rodman gonna learn that if you really like to dress as a tranny, the first requirement is fierceness? Get thee to Tyra Banks and her lacefront closet.

pic from dlisted