I Heart Bokeem Woodbine....

Yes, I never, ever, ever thought I would actually have that phrase in my life in any capacity, but after reading his Twitter page, and LMMFAO for about 20 minutes, he just may have to replace Terrence Howard as the beloved to warm the cockles of Ms. Invisible's semi-cold heart.

Perusing his love for such fine cuisine as steak-um burgers, White Castle, spam and eggs, hot dogs and eggs, fried eggs and Carolina sausage, and hot dogs and cheese whiz, I came upon gems like this (sorry so low-tech can't do screenshots):

I just ate a mayo sandwich and kool-aid water. We dont have no sugar n shit. I took a Now and Later and put it in the bottom of the glass12:18 PM May 21st from web

From IW: Love it! He is real with his, and I am now, and forever will be, a stan. Check these others out--I almost choked on my Chardonnay....

I was at Jimbos last night and I seen Tommy Davison tweekin out. Being loud and sweating all nasty. He was rubbing his nipple and shit8:48 AM Aug 27th from Twitterrific

I scowled at that fool and he yelled at me in his Sammy Davis voice. Lay off the drugs. Tell Rosie Perez that shit too. She a bag lady on8:49 AM Aug 27th from Twitterrific

41st. She be out there holding doors askin for change. I told her ass to get a job. No one wants to hear her talk though she sound like8:50 AM Aug 27th from Twitterrific

An episode of the nanny dubbed over with that SAP telemundo shit. Ondelay your ass to an agent and do some work. No I can't spare change8:52 AM Aug 27th from Twitterrific

and this:

Just for jokes I called Jada P and asked to be on Hawthorne. She hung up on me. That's why her shit is tanking. I could save that shit.8:54 AM Aug 27th from Twitterrific

Call me cap'n save a show. No one wants to see her in that bad hair track and her 90 degree angle chin "acting". I got skills dammit8:55 AM Aug 27th from Twitterrific

and this:

Man screw Chris Brown and his nations of Islam bean pie ass bowtie. He's not a real man. You're told from jump not to hit girls. You knew11:27 AM Sep 3rd from Twitterrific

and this:

I cant stand these damn skinny jeans guys are wearing today. I dont need to see your ball sac in 3D nigga! 1 cat had on pants so tight2:34 PM May 13th from web

I think i saw the hair on his balls as well. That's some nasty shit. Making me feel all unsure about myself because I couldnt take my eyes2:35 PM May 13th from web

Off of that shit. He gonna ask me for an autograph next. I gave that mothafucka the scowl of death. I been working on that shit like2:36 PM May 13th from web

Zoolander. He backed the hell up off me, him and his balls. I think i could actually see the sperms swimming around and shit.2:36 PM May 13th from web

and this:

I'm finna call up Allen Payne and see if he wanna use some of that house of Payne money to take a nigga to Tavern on the Green.12:42 PM May 21st from web

and finally this:

I just searched my name on here and I/m mad as hell. Scowling so hard my lips hurting and shit. People got nerve.7:34 PM Aug 14th from web

From IW: No hate here 'Keem. It's all love from now on...check my new man out at @KeemWood :-)